Single? Don’t go through birth alone

Pregnancy is a road very few women choose to travel alone. Surrounding yourself with caring and loving people who play an active role in your life can help provide an enriching "family" experience for you and your child.

And choosing a birth partner can be a particularly helpful step. She may be one of your strongest assets during pregnancy and childbirth. She can provide you with emotional strength and physical comforts that empower you and lead to a more memorable and fulfilling childbirth experience.

Your birth partner could be your mother, a sister or a close friend. Before approaching someone, think carefully about the type of birth experience you want and then decide who might be best suited to support you.

As you evaluate who the right person might be for you, here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do I enjoy being with this person? You'll spend lots of time together preparing for the baby's arrival, so it's wise to select someone whose company you enjoy.

How comfortable do I feel with this person? Giving birth is a very intimate experience. Since your birth partner will witness the whole process and support you in various ways, such as helping you bathe or massaging cramped muscles, it's important that you feel relaxed with her or him.

Can she or he provide the kind of emotional support I will need? Your birth partner should be a good listener and be someone who can give you reassurance when you need it the most. A person who is caring but makes jokes constantly may not be the best choice.

Would she or he be willing and able to attend childbirth classes with me and take time to practice what we learn? Learning proper breathing and relaxation techniques beforehand are valuable tools for labor and birth. Attending birth classes will help you two be more in sync on the big day.

Is she or he reliable? When you're dealing with important matters like going into labor and getting to the hospital, you'll feel more relaxed if you know that your birth partner is someone you can count on.

Will she or he "speak up" for me and be my advocate at the hospital? It's likely that your birth partner will have to obtain general information from the medical staff on your behalf. She or he may have to remind your caregivers about your desires concerning pain medication. For that reason it's helpful to choose someone who would feel comfortable interacting with health professionals.

Common responsibilities of birth partners

Although the major function of a birth partner is to support you during labor and delivery, many also handle other duties surrounding pregnancy. Common responsibilities include attending prenatal appointments with you, controlling the flow of visitors while you're recovering in the hospital, and making phone calls to friends and family announcing the good news.

Date last reviewed: October 2002.

Back to top