Hey, Dad: Take part in the pregnancy

Sometimes she seems to be in a world of her own, chatting about the pregnancy with her friends, enjoying the anticipation (and sometimes moaning with morning sickness). So where do you fit in?

It's easy for men to feel left out during pregnancy, because all the change and growth of the baby are occuring in the mother's body. But there's good reason to go the extra mile to stay involved.

Research shows that women with supportive partners have fewer health problems in pregnancy and have a more positive body image. Actively supporting your partner at this time will also increase your sense of satisfaction during the pregnancy and your feeling of involvement in your growing baby's life. There are many things you can do to stay involved; here are a few:

Watch your diet, and hers. As your partner works to adopt a healthier diet, join her. She may appreciate your reminding her to drink another glass of milk, or substituting salad for the French fries. (Or she may resent you becoming the "food police," so don't overdo it.) Join her in abstaining from alcohol, coffee and, especially, cigarettes.
Take walks together. It's a great way to reconnect during the day, and the exercise is good for all three of you.
Help her love her changing body. Always be ready with the right answer to the inevitable question, "Do I look fat?" Answer, "You look beautifully pregnant."
Read about parenting and childbirth yourself, rather than leaving all the research to her. Join her at prenatal visits, childbirth classes, and a hospital or birth center tour.
Talk together about how you both might make changes to simplify your life at this time, allowing you to better savor the experience of pregnancy.
Take on more chores. Early on, if she's prone to morning sickness, or at least by the second trimester, volunteer to take on more of the household tasks. It lifts a burden from her, and it helps reassure her that you'll be there for her once the baby comes, too.
Take part in decision-making. And there's plenty to decide. To circumcise or not? What kind of crib to buy? Cloth or disposable diapers? She's thinking about all these things. Let her know you want to be involved, too.
Mull over baby names together. You'll learn more about each other in the process. It's a fun way to connect at this time.
Talk to her about what kind of birth experience you both want. Be sure you clearly understand her desires and share some of your own hopes and wishes for the birth.