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WOMEN'S & CHILDREN'S | Family Maternity Center | Pregnancy Resource Center | Pregnancy Library | Family Members | Hey, Dad: It’s called the baby blues
Hey, Dad: It’s called the baby blues
Nearly every new mom has moments of sadness, and some women experience these emotions more frequently and stronger than others. Postpartum sadness is an absolutely natural part of birth.
In fact, studies show that 80% of women experience postpartum blues in the first week or two after birth. After all, taking care of a newborn is hard work, and no one (save the baby) is getting the sleep he or she needs.
Plummeting hormone levels take their toll, too. Some days almost anything can trigger a flood of tears in a new mother, from a glance at a gloomy newspaper headline to watching the baby’s face as he quietly nurses.
How can you help?- Don't take it personally. Chances are it's not about you, though you may sometimes feel like the target of her frustration and sadness. Let it roll off your back the best you can.
- Get out and about. Cabin fever can contribute to the baby blues, and a change of scenery can do wonders. Put baby in a front-pack and go for a walk, all three of you. Take a drive. Go to the mall.
- Give her a break. She may not even realize she needs it. Timing is everything, however, so be flexible and wait until after baby has fed so she feels she can safely escape for an hour or so. You may both be committed to breastfeeding, but if lack of sleep is becoming a serious issue, consider volunteering for one night of feeding with either formula or pumped breast milk.
- Tell her she's beautiful. Then tell her again, in detail. On top of everything else, she's probably not feeling terribly attractive. Reassurance from you, her partner, can do a lot to lift her spirits, if only for a moment.
- Ask for help. This is not the time to go it alone. Call on your friends to provide an occasional meal, baby care, or just a listening ear and a hug.
Stay alert to danger signs
There’s the blues, and then there’s postpartum depression or mood disorder characterized by feelings of despair, severe anxiety, or hopelessness that can overwhelm daily life. This is a serious condition affecting nearly 20% of women after childbirth, but one treatable with medication and/or counseling. You may see the signs before she does. If you suspect she is more than temporarily down, talk with her about seeing her doctor right away. Any of the following signs can indicate postpartum depression:- Blues that last more than two weeks
- Deep depression or anger that surfaces a month or two after the birth
- Feelings of sadness, doubt, guilt, or hopelessness that interfere with normal life and don't lift but get worse week by week
- Sleeping most of the time (even when baby is awake), or not being able to sleep
- Eating much more or much less than usual
- Constant worry about the baby
- Panic attacks
- Feeling of numbness or lack of interest in the baby or other family members
- Thoughts of harming oneself or the baby
Date last reviewed: October 2002.
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